We leave behind the physical space that is our house, but take with us all the memories. The many happy, peaceful, fun, amazing memories. The many painful, gut wrenching, devastating ones too. They are all part of us.
During this process, we've made a few concrete steps towards honouring and memorializing the seven little lost lives we carry around with us.
I had a beautiful bracelet designed that arrived just the other day. On the outside of the bracelet the inscription reads:
It's not much maybe but it's a big step for me...to try to somehow give words and images to all that I carry inside me.
We've also decided to observe the yarzheit for babies 6 and 7. These were the two pregnancies which got the farthest and hurt the most. We plan to place two special rocks beside Sariel's father's (z"l) stone, light a yarzheit candle out at the field and say kaddish.
In Judaism there are no traditional rituals for miscarriage - only once a baby has been 'born' - even still born. But not before. So we are reclaiming those rituals that make sense to us and honour the lives we loved and hoped for and dreamed about.
Well, I thought I'd write a whole lot more...there is certainly much swirling around inside. I'll stop here...for now...and promise to visit again sooner!
For those who celebrate this New Year: All the best to you and those you love! May you be blessed with health, happiness and peace!